


Road to Recovery

by CaptainTwiggy



Series: Sick Days [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Recovery, Sequel, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-20 08:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15530661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTwiggy/pseuds/CaptainTwiggy
Summary: Hotch is slowly healing, but there isn't much he can do. Rossi, of course, is doing all he can, as well as the whole team, but it's going to be a long and bumpy Road to Recovery for Special Agent Aaron Hotchner.





	1. Chapter 1

**(Welcome everybody to Road to Recovery :) so lets get this show on the road shall we?)**

Aaron Hotchner sat on his couch. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall. '7:47' He had expected Dave over by now. It had been a tradition ever since Aaron had gotten out of the hospital and able to take care of himself. Dave would come over every night after work and hang out with him. Sometimes he would talk about cases the team was on, Rossi choosing to stay behind of course, but it didn't bother him. Dave needed to be there for Aaron until he fully got back on his feet.

It had been about a month since Hotch had gotten out of the hospital. The prescriptions piled up on his counter. Once Hotch left the sterile building, Rossi was attached to his side for almost two weeks before Hotch finally told Dave to go home, tired of the constant attention and worry.

Hotch's arm twitched. He bit his lip and frowned, grabbing onto his wrist, wanting it to stop. After a few seconds it calmed down. He sighed with relief and shook his head. The medication they had put him on wasn't working as much as they hoped. His muscle didn't spasm as long, but some days were still better than others. There had been a couple days where it almost seemed like his arm never stopped.

Every Tuesday and Thursday Hotch went back to the hospital for physical therapy. Usually they focused on his arm, which the doctor's told him could be the reason for many of the seizure like symptoms he felt in his arm.

His hearing hadn't gotten much better since he left the hospital. He was given two hearing aids, one for each ear.

_Smith stepped into Hotch's hospital room, having transferred the recovering man out of the ICU. Hotch was sitting up, for once his room empty of visitors, having told everyone to go home and get some rest._

_Hotch didn't really speak much now. To him, it almost seemed impossible to communicate. His brow furrowed as he spotted the devices in the man's hands._

_Smith saw the confusion on Aaron's face and chuckled quietly. He held up the devices so Hotch could get a better look._

_Hotch frowned. His eyes fell to the bed. Hearing aids? He bit his lip, but nodded slightly and held out his hand for them. He looked up as Smith set them in his hand. He turned them over in his palm. They were smaller than any other devices he had seen. They looked like their own earpieces they had back with the BAU. The thought that had been bugging him all week slowly resurfaced. Would he ever be able to really hear again? He sighed quietly and shook his head._

_Smith sighed and sat on the edge of Hotch's bed. He quickly scribbled something down on a blank piece of paper. He didn't want to yell just so Hotch would be able to hear him. He turned the paper so Aaron could see._

_'This is the only way, Agent Hotchner…people won't see you as weak. They know what hell you've been through.'_

_Hotch's eyes scanned the paper. He looked back up at Smith, the man nodded. Hotch looked down at the hearing aids, but nodded. He carefully slipped them on, easily fitting them on his ears, having practiced a plethora of times when using their own earpiece. He looked back up at the doctor._

_Smith offered him a small smile before he walked to the side of the bed and carefully turned each aid on. He slowly turned them up a bit before taking a step back, watching Hotch's face light up. "Agent Hotchner?" He asked quietly. The whole staff was unsure if using hearing aids would even work. It was a long shot, but it was all they could do._

_Hotch blinked, his lips forming a smile. "I..I can hear you." He spoke softly, his own voice rough with disuse. "I can hear you!"_

Hotch still hadn't gotten in much of a habit of putting them in every morning when he woke up. For the first two weeks Rossi would always remind him, since the older man slept over every night. But now since Dave was back to sleeping at his own place, Aaron ended up forgetting to put them in. It was usually until he turned on the tv or made toast in the morning that he realized and had to go back to his bedroom to grab them.

His hearing was getting a little better. Sometimes if it were just Rossi and him he would be able to take them off and focus on the man and he would understand. Sure it was a little quiet, but he always preferred that than wearing the damn things. However, being with a large group was the opposite. There was always too much to focus on, so Hotch always needed to wear his hearing aids if the whole team came over, but that only happened maybe once or twice.

He didn't have much to do in his little apartment. He was going stir crazy sitting in here all day. He missed his family…but he called Haley after about a week of being home and told her everything that happened so she could hear it from him and not Dave when he tried to explain it. He told her that he needed time to get back on his feet, but mainly he just didn't want Jack to see him like this.

He wanted to go back to work. Certain cases Rossi didn't want to talk about, so Hotch almost had to force it out of him. He just wanted to get back out there. That was another question that he had needed to ask the doctors.

_"Will I ever…be able to go back to work?" Hotch asked quietly, scratching at his ears, not yet used to the devices that remained in his ears._

_Smith looked down at his clipboard, juggling the words in his brain like a circus act. He bit his lip and sighed. He shook his head. "Honestly, I don't know. You may be cleared for desk work, but I'm not sure if you'll ever be in the field again." He said, his eyes falling onto Hotch's arm. "It seems as though it'd be a bit of a problem to aim with a shaking arm." He knew that Hotch's arm just got worse with stress, which meant being in the field and chasing down an Unsub, wasn't the best option. "If these medications do the trick, than I think there is a good possibility, but honestly Agent Hotchner…I don't know."_

Thats what upset him…the pills weren't working. He told the doctors and they said they would try to find something else, but they weren't sure if they would be able to find anything.

The muscle spasms didn't hurt…they never did, it was one of the only things holding him back from being an agent again. His ears were a smaller problem. He hated wearing his aids, but if it meant he could be out there again, chasing monsters…he would do it.

But right now there wasn't much Aaron could do except sit on his couch and wait for Dave. He sat criss-cross on the couch, his fingers impatiently tapping against his knee. Now it was past eight and Dave was never late without a call.

Finally the front door opened. Hotch had given Dave a key, figuring that he wouldn't be able to hear a knock most of the time. Dave sighed heavily and set his bag by the door. He looked over at Hotch, the man having not moved since he came in. Damn…he forgot his hearing aid again. Rossi rolled his eyes and stepped into the living room, his shadow catching Hotch's eye.

_'Hey'_ Hotch signed easily, having dedicated a lot of his spare time now to learning sign language. Of course he could talk, but it was difficult to form words when sometimes you couldn't even hear your own words. Even if he spoke sometimes he would end up signing, it was just a habit by now.

Rossi offered him a smile and held up the brown paper bag. _'You hungry?'_ He tilted his head and sat down in the chair opposite Hotch.

Hotch nodded, watching as Rossi set out the takeout. _'What took so long?'_ He signed as he caught Dave's eye.

Dave shook his head and grabbed some chopsticks before he settled into his chair with his meal. _'A case.'_ He returned easily. He pointed to the food, knowing that Aaron would want to focus on the case instead of _'Eat.'_

Aaron rolled his eyes like a kid, but nodded. He grabbed his chopsticks and the food, nodding a 'thank you' as he began to eat.

Once the pair had finished their meals, Rossi cleaned up before he sat back down in his usual spot. He grabbed the sign language book off the table that he had bought for Hotch. Hotch had always asked him where Dave had learned to sign, but he never told him. It was just another one of Dave's many secret perks.

He flipped open the book to a random page, having assigned certain pages for Aaron to learn, but also to strengthen up his arm and wrist. The doctors had assigned a bit of physical therapy at home, and Dave was there to make sure he always did it, as well as do it right.

He figured it would be the easiest way to communicate, especially if he kept forgetting, or just not wanting, to put his hearing aids in. The ones the doctors had specially designed for Aaron were almost undetectable, but the man still refused to wear them due to his damn pride.

Rossi signed a few of the words from the book before looking up, quizzing Aaron. Aaron easily finger spelled the words back, Rossi nodding once Aaron got them right. Aaron's wrist started to shake. He silently cursed his dominant hand and grabbed his wrist shaking out his hand, hoping to relax it.

Rossi knew that Aaron's pills weren't working, and thats what worried him. He knew that if Aaron spent any more time in this apartment he would go insane, but its impossible to hold a gun with a shaking hand.

Once Aaron's wrist calmed down, he sighed and finished signing what he had wanted to Rossi, his wrist already sore.

Dave smiled and nodded, turning over a few ideas in his head.

_'Good job kiddo.'_ He paused, deciding. _'Why don't you come with me to the office tomorrow?'_


	2. Chapter 2

Hotch's face lit up at the thought of going in. He couldn't stand it in his apartment anymore. He knew he wouldn't be allowed to do anything, but maybe, just maybe he could help build a profile. A happy smile found it's way on his face. Hotch looked like a kid on Halloween night. Maybe everything would seem like it was back to normal.

Dave chuckled, watching the excitement on Aaron's face. He rolled his eyes in amusement. _'Guessing that's a yes?'_ He signed easily, a smile on his own face. Aaron nodded eagerly, watching Rossi as he placed the book on the table.

Dave quickly searched through it for more signs for Aaron to learn. He pulled a pen from his bag and marked a few. _'Study these.'_ He pointed down to the book and nodded. He stood up and packed up his things, knowing that he needed to get home and finish up a little bit of work before the morning.

Since Aaron still wasn't back at work, Dave had taken most of his duties, which mainly was just mountains of paperwork. Morgan thankfully took the rest of it after watching Rossi struggle with the load, as well as his own job.

_'_ _I have to go home to finish work, but I'll pick you up around eight.'_

Aaron nodded in understanding. _'Thank you.'_ He didn't have to tell Dave how much this meant to him. His emotions were clear in his face and that's all that Dave needed.

_'_ _Of course, kiddo.'_

And than he was gone, leaving Aaron alone in his apartment once again.

Aaron quickly cleaned everything up, thinking like a kid on Christmas morning, the quicker he went to bed, the quicker the day came. He jotted down the signs that Rossi wanted him to focus on for future reference and shut the book, setting the note on top as well as his pen.

He changed from his jeans to shorts and a t-shirt. The weather outside was slowly changing into spring, leaving his apartment a cool medium. He slipped into bed, but he wasn't as tired as he had been before Dave came over. He crossed his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

He thought about tomorrow. Finally he would be going back to the office. He grinned. He planned on convincing Dave to let him do a little bit of desk work. Looking through a couple files couldn't hurt, right?

Anxiety suddenly pushed its way into his chest as his calm, deep breathing staggered. His heart slowly picked up. What would the team say? It seemed different when they had always come over, but he never said anything. They treated him like a porcelain doll, as if one wrong word or move could break him. Would it be worse since he was actually in the office. He swallowed, sitting up as a wake a nausea overcame him. He pulled his knees to his chest, his head dropping between his legs. Damn drugs…the doctor had warned him about many of the side effects, but he hadn't really experienced them before. Maybe it was just his anxiety.

He ran a hand through his hair, thinking of everyone's glances. Their looks of pity that no matter how hard they tried to cover them up…Hotch always saw.

He bit his lip as his stomach churned, the feeling bringing the memories of the hospital back to his mind. He shivered at the thought, hating how helpless he had been, lying on his back in the sterile room with nothing to do expect worry everyone around him.

His stomach slowly calmed down, leaving his arm twitching, his anxiety still sitting on his chest like a weight. He leaned back, resting his back against the headboard. He looked out into the darkness as he slowly regained himself.

He swallowed and nodded to himself. He slowly slipped back underneath the covers. He turned on his side to sneak a glance at his alarm clock. '4:58'

He sighed heavily and shook his head, turning his back to the clock. He pulled the blankets up to his chin and shut his eyes, willing sleep to come.

As soon as he shut his eyes his alarm was going off at six-thirty sharp. He had to get a new alarm ever since he came home. His bed vibrated due to the new alarm and he groaned as he turned and shut off the alarm, the shaking in his bed stopping as well.

He was exhausted. He slowly through the sheets off, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He brushed some hair from his eyes, hoping that a shower would help him feel somewhat better. He just felt...sluggish and gross. He knew it wasn't the two hours of sleep. He ran pretty well on less sometimes.

He made his way to the bathroom, bricks on his feet. He turned on the shower, heading to his closet as it heated up. He looked at his suits, a tiny, tired smile finding its way to his face, but again his heart rate picked up. He swallowed and grabbed one, hanging it up on the door as he undressed and slipped into the shower.

The hot water helped. He pushed his wet hair from his face and opened his eyes, sighing with quiet relief. He spent longer than intended in the shower, but it definitely relaxed him.

He stepped out and easily dried himself off, stealing a glance at the clock. '7:20'

He shrugged it off, figuring he would have plenty of time. He ran the towel over his wet hair before hanging it up to dry.

He pulled his suit off the hanger and slipped it on, buttoning the shirt over his torso. He tucked it into his pants and pulled on his jacket and tied his tie. He looked in the mirror and smoothed himself out, a small smile finding its way to his face. He glanced at his watch. '7:58' He looked up and fixed his tie. He turned on his heels and headed to the living room to grab his things.

Eight o'clock on the dot Rossi was pulling the key from his pocket and unlocking Hotch's apartment door. He pushed open the door, not surprised to find the man sitting on his couch in a suit, reviewing the sign that Dave had assigned the previous night. He raised an eyebrow and shut the door, setting his bag by the door. He sighed heavily when Hotch didn't move at the noise. He slowly walked into the man's peripheral and waved.

Hotch looked up from his book and checked his watch as he saw Rossi. Right on time as usual.

His brow knit as he saw the look on Dave's face. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, not understanding.

Dave pointed at his ears and signed. _'Where?'_ He crossed his arms and tilted his head, knowing that if Hotch couldn't even hear the door open there was no way he had his aids on. He didn't plan on taking him anywhere without them either.

Hotch took a second to figure out what exactly Dave meant. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, focusing back down on the book.

"Dammit Aaron..." Dave sighed and shook his head. Some days it was like taking care of a little kid. He checked the bedroom first, figuring that's where he usually left them. He bit his lip as he searched, coming up empty handed. He shook his head and continued his quest into the bathroom. There on the counter he found the two tiny pieces that allowed Aaron to hear. He picked them up and held them in his palm as he walked out, setting them over the book Hotch had been focused on.

Hotch looked up at him and shook his head. _'I'm fine.'_ Dave rolled his eyes and shook his head. _'Aaron, you don't even talk without those. Nobody knows sign except for the two of us.'_

Aaron shifted the idea in his head. He hated the damn things. He sighed, knowing that Dave wouldn't give in. He slowly reached for them and put them into his ears. He turned them on and adjusted them, clearly not happy about it.

"Better?" Dave asked, nodding.

Hotch sighed and rolled his eyes. "I guess." He mumbled like a child. "Can we go now, Dave…please?" His throat already hurt, his voice rough with disuse. When he was on his own in his apartment there was almost never a reason to talk except when Dave called him on the phone to check in.

Dave nodded and led the way out the door. He was about to pick up his case before he turned on his heels and held up his hand causing Hotch to freeze in his tracks. "Hey hey, wait a second."

Hotch looked at him, a small flash of annoyance flickering over his gaze. Rossi couldn't help but smile as a bit of the old Hotch shone through. "Have you eaten breakfast?"

Hotch's gaze fell to the ground. He sighed and shook his head, knowing that he couldn't lie to the older man. "Dave, we're going to be late-"

Dave put his hand on Hotch's shoulder and lightly pushed the man to the kitchen. "We've got time. Now sit down and I'll make you something."

Once Dave had gotten Aaron to eat, they made it to the federal building. During the ride, Dave could tell how anxious Aaron was. He glanced down from the road a couple times to see his wrist twitching and it worried him.

He pulled into a parking spot and shut off the car. He turned in his seat to face Aaron. "You okay?"

Aaron sighed, his fingers tapping against his knee. "I…" He shook his head, searching for the right words. "I just want everything to be normal."

Rossi's eyes softened. He sighed lightly. "I know kiddo." He shook his head. "But I don't know how long that'll take." That was the thing that worried him. Now that Haley had moved out with Jack, it was the BAU that became Hotch's home since there wasn't much for him at his apartment anyway. Dave wasn't sure if Hotch would ever be able to come back. Sure maybe he could do a bit of desk work, but being a field agent almost seemed like a stretch, atleast thats what the doctors had said.

He had seen the way the others looked at Hotch, sometimes he even caught himself doing the same. He hated it, but sometimes he couldn't help it.

He squeezed Hotch's shoulder reassuringly. "Come on kiddo, let's go." He offered quietly, nodding.

Hotch took a deep breath and nodded. He stepped out of the car and headed up towards the office with Dave right by his side.


	3. Chapter 3

Morgan and the team sat at their desks, constantly glancing at the time wether it was on their wrists or their computers.

"Must be really important to keep Rossi for an hour." Morgan shook his head, checking the time once again. They had scheduled a team meeting with Strauss for eight thirty. Strauss had wanted to talk about Hotch and how they were running with Morgan acting as the active unit chief while Hotch was away on sick leave, but there was no way they could start without Rossi. Dave was the one who knew the most about Hotch's current condition.

"You think Hotch is okay?" Reid piped up quietly. He closed his book, having no need to mark his page since he would always remember exactly where he stopped. He looked up, a flash of worry vanished from his face.

"If something was up, you know Rossi would call." JJ quietly reassured him with a nod. She offered him a light smile and Reid nodded. He couldn't help but worry, usually Rossi was always the first one in, well now that Hotch didn't come in.

Morgan looked up as the elevator chimed. He sighed with relief as he saw Dave take a step out. He blinked, unsure if his eyes were deceiving him as he saw the taller man step out behind him.

Reid's face lit up. "Hotch!" He said happily, surprise written on his face. He hadn't expected their unit chief back for several more weeks, but he walked up them, looking as healthy as ever. If somebody didn't know of his illness, they wouldn't even notice the minuscule hearing aids stuck in his ears.

Dave hadn't told them that he was planning on bringing Hotch in. He figured it would be a nice surprise since they hadn't been over in a couple weeks. The job just consumed their lives and sometimes they lost track of time.

Hotch smiled as he saw his team, an indescribable sense of joy rushing over his body, pushing away his fears. Until he saw the looks on a few of their faces. Concern. He shrugged it off, his own smile still present on his face. "Hey." He said quietly, still not used to talking aloud.

"How are you feeling?" JJ asked, a light smile over her features as she looked Hotch up and down. Finally it almost seemed normal. Hotch was back and dressed, ready for anything.

Hotch watched cautiously as her eyes traced over him. He couldn't help as his heart slowly picked up. He figured they would point out and question just what he was doing here. He swallowed and nodded, focusing back in. "I'm good, really. I'm hoping to be back sooner rather than later." He leaned back against Dave's desk, his arms crossed over his chest, knowing quite well that if they were anywhere else he would be signing as well as he spoke, just another habit he had picked up.

JJ tilted her head, worry flashing over her gaze, vanishing as soon as it appeared. She looked at her watch. "Damn, that meeting with Strauss." She sighed and nodded, "We've already had her waiting an hour."

Hotch's brow furrowed in confusion. Dave hadn't told him of a meeting. He sent a confused glance in Dave's direction, who just shook his head.

"I'll explain later-"

"Aaron?"

Strauss had come down from her office, wanting to know just what exactly had kept them an hour. Of course she had called, but she figured that it was something worse if Rossi was late. Imagine her surprise when she spotted the recovering man in the middle of the bullpen.

Hotch stood up straight, the smile having vanished from his face. "Strauss." He replied easily.

Strauss sighed quietly, her eyes scanning him up and down. She shook her head, "Come to my office, we'll reschedule this meeting for tomorrow." She nodded to Hotch and turned on her heels, heading back the way she had come, expecting the agent to follow her.

Hotch exchanged a glance with Rossi. _'Tell me later'_ He signed easily, watching Dave nod in response. He couldn't help but notice Spencer's lips moving silently as his eyes followed Hotch's hands. Maybe there was even more they didn't know about the kid… Hotch put that thought to the back of his mind as he followed Strauss.

Hotch shut the door behind him.

"Take a seat." Strauss said easily, having already made herself comfortable behind her desk.

Hotch obliged and sat across from her. He crossed his legs, raising an eyebrow as he studied the look on her face, a bit out of practice with profiling after being cooped up in his apartment for a month. "Ma'am?" He asked quietly, his head tilted, unsure of why she wanted him in here.

Strauss laced her fingers, setting her hands on her desk. She shook his head, locking her eyes with his. "You're looking better." She said, nodding slightly.

Strauss had only visited Hotch's apartment once and it was the day after he came back from the hospital.

Hotch nodded, remaining silent as his wrist twitched lightly. He slipped his hand over it, hoping that Strauss wouldn't see, but of course she did, worry flashing across her gaze.

She sighed quietly. "Aaron…what are you doing back so soon?" She shook her head. "You aren't well." She motioned to his wrist that he made an awful attempt at hiding. "You haven't been cleared, and by the looks of it, it may take longer than the doctors first thought."

As soon as Aaron had gotten back on his feet, he called Strauss. He told her everything that the doctor's had said so she could work everything out. The doctor's had originally said a month and a half to two months, maybe a bit longer.

Hotch's gaze fell to his lap. He sighed quietly and shook his head. "I'm not back yet. Dave just brought me with to get me out." His grip tightened on his wrist, frustration slowly finding its way into his veins. "Hows Morgan doing as Unit Chief?" He said, wanting to take the attention off himself. He cleared his throat, lifting his gaze, his face blank.

Strauss pursed her lip as she studied him. She knew that he didn't want to talk about it, but it needed to be said. "Aaron…do you think you'll ever be okay to come back?"

Fire pushed through Aaron's veins. He slammed his hands on Strauss' desk and pushed himself up, anger bubbling in him. Why did everybody think so little of him? Just because he was down for a week and taking a month off to recover. He glared down at Strauss, raking his brain for words, but all he drew was a blank. His arm shook against the desk, his stomach turning. He ignored it and slowly stood up straight, his violent gaze never leaving her. He shook his head and turned on his heels. "I'll be in my office." He breathed, seething with unspoken anger.

He left Strauss' office, slamming the door behind him, causing everybody in the bullpen to jump. He felt their eyes on him, but he didn't stop as he stalked to his office. He shut the door behind him, pressing his back against it with a heavy sigh.

He cradled his arm against his chest, feeling the muscle spasm underneath his skin. He took a deep breath and shook his head as he slowly made his way to his desk. His stomach continued to churn. He rested his head on his desk, this situation feeling all to familiar.

The team had just been discussing a potential case that had come up, determining if they should look into it or not.

Rossi flinched as he heard the door slam shut. He looked up to see Aaron headed towards his office, his face morphed by anger. His brow furrowed, not only curious, but worried. He glanced at the team, noticing that they had the same looks on their faces.

He stood up and put his hand up to stop them. "I got it. Morgan, gather everyone in the conference room." He said as he tossed a file onto his desk. He sighed, heading up towards Strauss' office. He knocked on the door, entering as he heard the quiet 'come in.'

Rossi closed the door behind him. He crossed his arms and tilted his head. "What happened?" He said quietly as he walked over to her desk, taking a seat where Hotch had just resided.

Strauss shook her head and sighed, carding her fingers through her hair. She laced her fingers and rested her head on her hands. "I asked him if he'd every be okay to work again."

Rossi's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me, Erin? This job is practically Hotch's life. You-"

"Do not lecture me David." She put her hand up to stop him. "I just wanted the truth, and from the looks of it, I'm not sure he will be able to come back. Atleast not in the field."

Rossi's gaze fell. Sadly he had been thinking the same thing, but the thing they needed to do was encourage him, not put him down. He ran a hand through his hair as he thought.

Strauss shook her head. "Take him home, he doesn't need to be here."

Dave shook his head, lifting his challenging eyes to meet hers. "He has every right to be here, Erin. He beat that damn thing and I'm not bringing him back to that apartment where he sits on his ass and does nothing. He's better help here. We've got a case anyway-"

"He isn't cleared-"

"Maybe not for field work." Rossi stated, frustration clear in his words as he left the office without another word.

He made his way to Hotch's office, not bothering to knock. He pushed open the door, immediately looking towards Hotch's desk. He frowned when he didn't see him. "Hotch?"

"Right here…" Hotch sighed defeatedly, exhaustion hanging over his head like a storm cloud.

Dave raised an eyebrow and peeked over the desk. Aaron was sat against the wall, his legs out in front of him, the trashcan resting in his lap. "You okay?" He asked quietly, walking around the desk. He kneeled beside Hotch, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead, a sense of deja vu coming over him.

Hotch nodded slightly, placing the trash can on the floor. "Yeah I'm fine." He let Dave feel his forehead, even if he hated it.

Rossi sighed with relief when he found that Hotch didn't have a fever. He sat beside him and shook his head. They sat in silence for a few minutes while Hotch relaxed. "We've got a case if you're interested." He offered quietly, glancing over at him.

Hotch raised an eyebrow, "Strauss-"

Rossi rolled his eyes. "Since when have you cared what she thought?" He stood up and offered his hand to him. "Come on, everyones already in the conference room."

A small smile found it's way to Hotch's face as he realized what Dave had done. He slipped his hand into Rossi's and stood up. "Thanks Dave."

"Don't mention it kiddo."


	4. Chapter 4

Rossi led Hotch into the conference room. Hotch's eyes scanned over the table, realizing that they had left his seat completely untouched. He smiled internally, once again cold stone on the outside. He took his seat and nodded to JJ who pointed the clicker at the screen.

Hotch flipped open the file in front of him, pushing his frustrations to the back of his mind. Now there was a killer out there. He wasn't sure how much he would be able to do…He swallowed and shook his head ever so slightly, quickly scanning over the file.

"In Denton Texas, two single fathers were abducted over this week, one turned up three days ago, the other yesterday. Each of the victims were in their late-forties and had one teenage daughter, as well as two sons in their twenties. Both victims were found dead in their homes." JJ clicked, a picture the two victims appearing on screen. "The first victim was Scott Trim, he was forty-eight. He left behind his seventeen year old daughter, Kara, twenty year old son Christian, and Jon who was twenty-two." She shook her head, a shiver passing over her spine. The cases that dealt with kids, no matter the age, Henry would always pop into her mind no matter how many times she told herself that he was safe.

"Second victim is George Newcombe, forty-seven. His daughter Ceanna is sixteen, his sons Coby and Will are twins who just turned twenty-one a few days ago."

"Hell of a twenty-first birthday present." Morgan sighed, shaking his head sadly. He of all people knew what it was like to lose a father. He blinked and took a deep breathe.

"'Both victims were found with stab wounds to the abdomen in the shape of a happy face?'" Rossi quoted, frowning in disgust as he looked up from the file.

JJ sighed heavily and nodded, the crime scene photos now appearing on screen. She swallowed. "Each victim had ten stab wounds to form that, yes."

Hotch looked up from his file, unaware of his hand under the desk as it easily finger spelled the words that came out of JJ's mouth, something he used to do while he watched TV or was on the phone with Rossi. Another task he had been given that formed into an easy habit. "Where were their children when they were attacked?"

"Sons have been away at college. Daughters were at a friends house." JJ said easily, placing the remote back onto the table.

"With this big of a time gap, he would either not stick to a pattern, or he would be stalking his victims," Spencer spoke up, leaning forward, the file in his hands. "And considering that he waited until the daughter was gone and the father was home alone, I pick the latter. He picked these parents out for a specific reason." His eyes quickly traced over the information they had on the victims, hoping he could figure out the connection. His finger traced along the words as he read, his lips silently forming each word.

"So that's about two days in between each kill where he finds his next victim and watches him…but what if the daughter's plans don't line up with his? Will he storm into the house anyway no matter who's home?" Prentiss shook her head, the file open in front of her.

Hotch sighed and shook his head. Cases with kids always messed him up, especially since he hadn't seen his own son in almost two months, having to cancel on Haley many times before his illness. "I don't want to wait long enough to find out…wheels up in thirty." He said easily, the practiced words flowing off his tongue.

Rossi shook his head and put his hands up as everybody stood up and began to gather their thing. "Woah woah woah." Everyone froze.

Hotch looked at Rossi, his brow furrowed. "Dave?" He questioned quietly, having already packed up his file. He was ready to grab his go bag and get out of here. Even if he hadn't been cleared for field work, he would be able to help the team get a profile from the police station.

Rossi shook his head. He stood up and nodded to Morgan, who took the hint and herded everyone out with a simple. "Let's go."

Rossi had stood up and made his way to Hotch. He sat on the edge of the table, his arms crossed. "What do you think you're doing?" His voice was hard, but his eyes were soft with concern for his friend. There was no way that Hotch had gotten cleared in such a short time.

Hotch shook his head. "Dave, I may not be able to go out in the field, but I can atleast help the team build a profile and work from the station, Strauss-"

Dave put his hand up to stop him. He shook his head. "This has nothing to do with Strauss right now. Aaron…" He sighed, looking down at him. "You aren't even medically cleared to fly."

Hotch was about to defend himself, but the last time he had injured his ears, he wasn't even able to fly, having someone drive him all the way back. He swallowed, his confident gaze wavering as it fell to the table. "Dave…" He breathed, shaking his head. _'I just want to help…I can't sit around again and do nothing again.'_ He signed, unable to find his voice.

Dave's voice softened. He nodded. "I know kiddo…but we need you to be well first."

Hotch's fingers tapped anxiously on the table. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "I'll get Strauss to clear me." He mumbled and shrugged as he fixed his tie. He scooped up his folder and was about to leave when Dave grabbed onto his sleeve, holding him back.

"That is not what I meant!" He raised his voice, standing up now to face the taller man. "Aaron, you are not medically okay to travel right now. Plus none of us have the time to waste a day driving you down there, when we could be there in three hours." He shook his head. He didn't want to be angry, but Aaron needed to realize that he needed to take care of himself. If he kept putting his health on the bottom of the list of his things to do, there could be a chance that they may not have even had this problem to begin with. "Dammit Hotch, if you just took care of yourself for once. We can solve cases on our own, but we need you healthy, but with the way you're treating yourself now…" His voice trailed off as he shook his head, losing his words in his frustration.

Hotch's chest tightened. He flexed his hand, ignoring the tingling in his wrist. He didn't even blink as he shook himself from Rossi's grasp. "Why does everybody think that I can't do it? It's been a month Rossi, I'm as healthy as I'm ever going to get because nothing has helped." His fists clenched. He hadn't yelled in months. His throat ached. He shook his head. "Everybody always looks at me like I'm made of glass." His face was stone, eyes fire. "I'm the same as I was before." He paused and shook his head. "Oh wait, I guess not." He pointed at the device in his ear. He glared at Rossi, his arms crossed tightly over his chest as his heart raced, his blood boiling.

Rossi shook his head. "Nobody is saying that you can't." He sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. "Aaron…" He breathed, taking a step back to pack up his things. He couldn't deal with this right now. He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. "We only do these things because we care…" His eyes still hadn't retuned to Hotch, his back to the man. "If you want to help, than stay here and I'll keep you updated so you can help build a profile." He gave in a little. This would be his own field work for awhile. He needed the break from only traveling to Aaron's apartment and the office.

"I don't need you treating me like I'm a child, Rossi. I can look after myself." Hotch shot back, his intense gaze shooting daggers towards the back of the mans head. The muscles in his arm tensed, causing his breath to catch in his throat. He clenched his fist, hoping to ease it, but his muscle only knotted more. A sharp pain traveled through his arm, radiating up his shoulder. He winced, thankful Dave's back was to him as he cradled his arm.

Dave scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Ever since Haley left you seem to have forgotten just how to feed yourself." He couldn't stop himself. The words just tumbled out of his rage driven mouth. As soon as they came out, he felt the guilt race through him. He shook his head. "Shit…Aaron I'm sorry-" He looked up as he heard the door close. Aaron was nowhere to be seen.


	5. Chapter 5

Rossi's guilt sat on his chest like a weight. He felt like he couldn't breath as he left the conference room, abandoning his things at the table as he searched for their recovering unit chief.

He figured that Aaron would have gone to Strauss' office and convince her to sign him off to travel, which would be impossible without a medical professional checking him out first, but if Aaron was pissed, and Dave was sure he was, than he could get his way. He sighed as he knocked on the door to Strauss' office.

He pushed open the door once she allowed entry. Erin Strauss sat at her desk, her glasses perched on the edge of her nose as she signed off on the few pieces of paperwork scattered across her desk. "Dave? How can I help you?"

Rossi looked around her kept office. Hotch definitely wasn't in here. He shook his head, setting his jaw as he thought of where he could have gone.

"Dave?" Strauss repeated. She pulled her glasses off and set them on her desk. Her brow furrowed as she watched Rossi focus back on her.

"Have you seen Hotch?" He asked easily, snapping out of his mind. He focused back on her, frowning as he watched her shake her head.

"Not since you lectured me." She fired back, clearly not over their argument before. She turned back in her chair to face her desk. She placed her glasses back on the end of her nose and picked up the pen. She scribbled her signature on another page. "You aren't planning on taking him on this case, are you?" Rossi's worry echoed in her voice. Aaron did look better, but he wasn't case ready. No matter how many times anybody told her that, without a medical professional clearing Hotch, there was no way she was letting him travel, or work any cases. The doctor's had told her that his muscle spasms usually got worse with stress, and thats all this job was.

However, she had been thinking of the possibility as leaving Morgan as the active unit chief for awhile and possibly bringing Hotch back early. He, of course, wouldn't be allowed in the field and would most likely stay at the office, but he would still have full privileges to help the team and get back onto his feet. She figured he could do that for about a year before she even considered placing him back as the unit chief to their best team.

Rossi bit his lip, his hands finding his pockets. He tapped his foot anxiously. He didn't need this again. All he wanted to do was find Aaron and apologize. He sighed. "I don't know, just call me if you see him." He turned and left without another word.

He headed down into the bullpen, figuring everyone was working on packing for their trip, but to his surprise Morgan was at his desk, finishing up a few emails while the others grabbed their gear. He had been so focused on finishing his work, that he hadn't noticed Rossi walk up. He placed his hand on top of Morgan's computer, drawing the man's gaze.

"You seen Hotch?" Dave asked.

Morgan raised an eyebrow. He slowly shook his head. He hadn't seen much of anything since he sat down."Not since he stormed out of the conference room. Rossi…is everything okay, you know, between the two of you."

Dave sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He avoided the question, knowing just how well Morgan could read him. He nodded, "Yeah we're fine." He lied easily, knowing clearly that Morgan saw through his bullshit. "I just need to find him." He breathed, shaking his head as he left Morgan to finish his work.

Morgan watched him go, worry, maybe even pity bubbling in his chest. He knew Hotch would be okay and couldn't have roamed far, but Rossi's body language told a whole new story. Morgan wasn't even sure if he was seeing it correctly. The only time he had seen Rossi's shoulders sagging with defeat was at the hospital when Hotch was in the ICU. He swallowed and shook his head. The thing he couldn't shake was the guilty look that continued to flash over Rossi's gaze, or maybe it was his foot that continued to tap against the floor. He shook his head and placed his fingers on the keyboard to finish his work.

Rossi went to every place he could think. Hotch's office, nope. The kitchenette, nope.

He stopped in front of Garcia's office. He took a step into her coop. He glanced at all of the screens, this much technology always seemed to unnerve him. He stepped up behind her chair. Garcia didn't even need to turn to figure out who had entered her lair.

"What can I do for you, Agent Rossi?" Her fingers flew across her keyboard as she tracked the GPS signal of a cellphone for another one of the BAU's teams.

Rossi quietly waited till she was finished, which only took about ten seconds before she texted the coordinates to the team. She turned around in her chair, her hands in her lap. "Whats up?"

Rossi shook his head. "Have you seen Hotch?"

Garcia's face lit up. "He's back?" Happiness exploded in her chest. Of course she loved her chocolate man leading the team, but she couldn't stand to see the people she cared about injured or sick. Her giddiness ended as she noticed the look on Rossi's face. "Whats wrong? He isn't back?"

Rossi shook his head. "Sorry Garcia, today he's just visiting." He sighed. "Has he not come by?"

"You know it doesn't take a profiler to figure out what's going on in that head of yours right now." She pointed out, fixing her bright glasses on her face. She shook her head. "So what's going on in that head of yours?"

Rossi didn't have time for this. "Maybe later Garcia." He offered her a tiny smile and shrugged. "I just really need to find him." ' _Before he does anything stupid'_ He thought, his gaze flickering before he focused back on her.

Garcia shook her head, realizing the rush that he was in. "I can track his phone too if you want." She pointed behind her towards her computer. She turned back around without waiting for a response from Rossi. As Rossi began to tell her no, and that he would have it handled. She already had it pulled up. "He's in the bathroom by the bullpen." She said easily as she turned back around.

How the hell could he not have thought of checking the damn bathroom? He sighed in frustration. "Thanks Garcia." He mumbled as he left.

Finally he found his way to the bathroom. He pushed open the door, relief washing over him as he saw the man in question standing near the corner, his back to Dave.

Slowly Dave took a step forward. He studied Aaron quickly.

Every single muscle in Aaron's body was tense as he cradled his arm to his chest. He heard someone enter the room. He assumed it was Rossi, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around. His wrist was killing him, a continuous ache radiating through his arm like wildfire. He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead against the wall. What Dave had said about Haley…He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as he felt hot tears threaten to fall.

"Aaron…" Dave breathed. He shook his head. "Kiddo…" He didn't even know what to say. What he had said back there was uncalled for. He almost felt like a child for not thinking before he spoke. He sighed and took another step towards Aaron. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

Aaron's tense form suddenly caved. His shoulder's sagged, his knees felt weak. The grip on his arm tightened as another spasm ripped through him. He whimpered quietly, unable to stop It as it slipped out. He gritted his teeth. Damn he shouldn't have gotten so worked up. He took a deep breath, shaking his head slowly as he heard Rossi's concerned voice behind him. He squeezed his eyes tighter as he heard Dave advance towards him, the man's footsteps echoing off the tile floor. His breath caught in his throat, the only focus on his mind was the ache in his arm that had now dulled, beating in time with his heart. He swallowed, a tiny sense of relief washing over him, assuming that the worst had already past.

He squeezed his arm, knowing that it wouldn't change anything. He wanted to be able to to grab onto his arm and it would just stop all together. Stop the annoying spasms. Stop everything that was wrong with him. Stop everybody from treating him differently. His hearing could come back. He would be back to normal. Everything would be back to normal, back to the way things should be. Rossi wouldn't look after him like a little kid. Haley and Jack would still be living with him. Back when everything was good.

"Aaron?" He was now almost behind him. He looked the man over again, now able to see the invisible weight that held down Hotch's shoulders. He swallowed. "Hotch, are you okay?" He repeated quietly, reaching out and placing a light hand over Hotch's shoulder. His eyes widened as he felt the tiny, almost electric like currents that the spasm's in his arm sent up his shoulder. It was almost like a steady vibration against his hand as Hotch held his arm a little bit tighter.

Hotch's stomach turned, an all too familiar feeling by this point. He pressed even more weight into the wall as he opened his eyes, watching the room spin around him. His stomach flipped in protest as the shiver in his arm worsened. He quickly shut his eyes as he tried to block it out. He felt like he couldn't breath. His heart continued to race as a shiver passed over him.

"Aaron…What is it? What's wrong?" Dave's soothing voice echoed in his ears, but he couldn't bring himself to reply. He opened his eyes, only to sway on his feet as the world faded to black.


End file.
